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The paradox about helping a family member or someone else close to you, is that you're already "part of the system," right? In other words, your family members already see you as part of the emotional environment.

For instance, if the sister in this intervention approaches her brother with a message that sounds like it came from their parents, this will raise his defenses, and he'll naturally resist. If it sounds to him that she's giving him advice out of her own superiority, he'll resist. And if he feels like her advice is coming out of nowhere, and their relationship is not very fulfilling, he'll resist.

You see, familial resistance usually comes from a) their not feeling that you're meeting their needs b) their feeling in competition with you or c) their feeling like you're allied with someone else in the family.

So how do you sidestep this resistance and really influence a family member? The strategy is simple: start by appreciating something about that family member. Sounds simple, but most people aren't used to it -> but it really works!

In this short intervention, Magali helped this young woman to sidestep the traps of helping her brother, and to really reach him. You can tell by the end of the session, the woman's in a completely different place. 

Enjoy this strategy? We will be offering an exclusive small-group coach training in these strategies.

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